Hagrid and the Muggles

After hitting Pitchfork, our Senior Midwest Correspondent, TK, came to visit Montpelier for the weekend. While here, he went to the Harry Potter book release at Bear Pond books and sent over this email (after I prodded him with a sharpened barbecue fork).

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Sat., July 21
Bear Pond Bookstore
Montpelier, VT

Even in blogging, promotions only carry more responsibility. It didn't take long after being anointed False 45th Senior Midwest Correspondent to learn what else the job description entailed.

Flatlander asked me at last night's Strategy Meeting (ok, so it was a barbecue) if I'd write a review of what passes for a celebrity event in Vermont, which is standing in line with my nephew, Jackson, and sister for the new Harry Potter book at the midnight release.

Forget Beckham's unveiling and the Hollywood elite. The Simpsons' movie premiere in Springfield, VT? Puh-lease. This was the true hipster scene of the weekend because of my presence.

While waiting anxiously for the new release, I had a text conversation with my gypsy friend CC, who like my sister, is fluent in Harry Potter and was greatly helpful in translating. With permission, here's a transcript of that conversation as the tense final minutes ticked down:

TK: Waiting in line for Harry Potter.

CC: Why?

TK: Because Jackson's in charge. This is insane.

CC: Just tell everyone that you're Hagrid (half-giant). They'll get out of your way.

(Blogger's note: I'm 6-foot-6, hence the joke about the Hagrid reference).

TK: Some kid just called me Hagrid.

CC: So you dressed for the event? And I always thought you were just a boring muggle.

(Blogger's note: At this point, I ask sis, "What's a muggle?" She warns me to keep my voice down, like even though I'm tall, the wrong words uttered too loudly could result in my suffering several kicks to the back of my legs to fell me like a tree. Loggers vs. blogger?)

TK: You don't understand my magic (1st secret, 7th book).

CC: I don't want to know!

TK: So I shouldn't tell you that I die at the end?

TK: This is like a cult.

CC: That's why we're just buying our copy tomorrow. Have fun, I'm off to bed.

TK: Jackson put a "Home of Hagrid" sign on the room I'm staying in. Now I get the joke.

It looked like Trekkie Training. Seriously, kids and adults alike were everywhere with costumes. It was the junior Rocky Horror Picture Show. Jackson fared quite well on the trivia contest and scored some candy.

Midnight approached and I put my half-giant size to good use. Rather than relive my college football days to get through the mob, I just reached over the top of the crowd with the ticket to get a copy of the book.

One copy of the last Harry Potter book and a shoulder ride from his uncle later made Jackson a tired but happy camper.

I'd now like my title to read False 45th Senior WORLD Correspondent. It has a nice ring to it.

TK

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World?!?!? I'm thinking Senior Wizarding Correspondent.

By the way, after asking repeatedly, TK's sister told me how the book ends which is great because it saves me from reading seven long books I'm not really interested in to just get that cultural touchstone.